On naming your future doctor

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January 19, 2016 by Dr. Geyser

Greetings! from Dr. Frank Geyser, advanced subspecialist in interdisciplinarian studies, with a license. This post contains a list of suggested names for expecting parents who wish to get a head start on the medical admissions process for their child. It is never too early to start planning your life around medical school – just ask any medical student! The increasingly competitive nature of American medicine means that successful admission to medical school is dependent on good planning. Many many medical students come from medical families, where one or both parents, as well as most siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, have received advanced professional training at a certified U.S. allopathic undergraduate medical institution. Yet few parents realize that there are alternative methods for getting their children into medical school.

The purpose of this post is to provide parents who expect their children to attend medical school with a means of obtaining their dreams without sacrificing that all-too-important lifestyle that medical students base their career decisions upon. Everyone knows that doctors have awesome names: Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Dr. So-and-so, Dr. Geyser. By focusing on the name of their future doctor, parents can increase the chance that their child gets into medical school substantially (results may vary). If you know your child is going to medical school anyway, why not start the planning process for them? And why not start RIGHT NOW, while they are still in the womb?

“Obviously, we know what we are talking about” – that is what a good name communicates to the patient. Every time the patient says the name of their doctor, our perceived level of competence increases.

Some names for your future doctor

Dr. Gunner, MS1
Dr. Arnold, Sports medicine
Dr. Doctor, MD, PhD
Dr. Quitter, PhD, Biochemistry and Molecular Cell Biology
Dr. Brain, Neurosurgeon
Dr. Brian, Internist
Dr. Lips, Ob/Gyn
Dr. Vitals, EMed
Dr. Jerry, Geriatric anesthesiologist (gasser)
Dr. Geyser, Specialist
Dr. Breecher, Ob/Gyn
Dr. Richard Cox, Urologist
Dr. Helpful, Undecided
Dr. White, Dermatologist
Dr. Black, Oncologist
Dr. Grey, Radiologist
Dr. Smile (pron. SMILE-EE), Future dentist
Dr. Smart, Pathologist
Dr. Kidd, Pediatrician
Dr. Childs, Pediatrician
Dr. Herp, Primary care
Dr. Nous, Psychiatrist
Dr. Moo Kao, Veterinarian
Dr. Yao, Pain specialist
Dr. Otto, ENT
Dr. P., Urologist
Dr. Ox, Pulmonologist
Dr. Porter, Abdominal surgeon
Dr. Kathy, Interventional cardiologist
Dr. Cutty, General surgeon
Dr. Stew Mackey, Gastric surgeon
Dr. Alvira, Infectious disease specialist
Dr. Pole, Urologist
Dr. Pool, Hematology
Dr. Piles, Gastroenterologist
Dr. Popper, Psychiatrist
Dr. Gene Siemens, Reproductive specialist
Dr. Q. R. S., Cardiologist

Have other ideas for good doctor names? Are they better than Doctor Geyser’s? Find out below in the Comments section. And have a nice day.



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