Category Archives: Relationships

  1. On Naming One’s Penis

    February 22, 2016 by Dr. Geyser

    The reproductive potential of the human penis is large compared to the size of man’s sexual organ(s). For men who have not yet fathered a child, this ratio is a source of insecurity, and has led some men to give their penis a name, along with imbuing them with an appropriate personality.


    This is a concerning trend for those whose work entails rational discussions of men’s health-related issues. Because men have started talking to their penises again, it is likely to be harder now more than ever to persuade men to adopt healthy lifestyles. For the penis has much to contribute to the world besides ‘healthy lifestyles.’ What better way to heal the world of human illness, than to seek out the best means of sowing a more healthy, powerful, and drug-free future?

    Michael & Jello’s David
    A masterpiece
    Given the importance of sexuality in understanding the value systems of living organisms, it is a bit strange that psychologists do not spend more time studying the sexual act itself. Perhaps they overestimate their own personal familiarity with sexual intercourse, since no psychologist has yet invented a means of talking about sex that is distinct from mechanical philosophies, and their superstitious congeners. Bodies must contact one another, before the breach is made.


    The challenge is to find an overlap between one’s ethos and one’s career. Solutions to this problem are abundant, if one is not dependent either on the words one uses or the style in which one behaves. Where the ‘nominalistic’ style is adopted, there can be no ethos. The individual is governed by the ethos of others, so long as their ears are tuned to honor a single name.

    “Come along now, Little Geyser.”

  2. XOXO, Demi Lovato

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    February 14, 2016 by Dr. Geyser

    Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?
    — JFC, Matthew 6:25

    Demi Lovato helps to resolve the insecure selfhood of the philosopher through a quick and dirty exchange of mind and body mediated by her power over the male gaze. Clothed in leather and draped in her own self-confidence, she steps into the fertile position between power and knowledge within a social system primarily suited to the needs of the male body. There is a feeling of closure, of completion, of unity within a body no longer subservient to the social construction of mind-body duality – a fitted contact between bodies that temporarily relieves the male of his duties to the care of self.
    — Michel Foucault

    Demi Lovato is a model citizen of this freely elected, all-American democracy. Let me tell you, it is liberating – and I mean liberating, with a capital ‘L’ – to see women grabbing the attention of male voters on social media platforms like YouTube. The internet is an amazing place, and there is just so much to see and reflect upon because that’s what makes America great.
    — President Barack Obama

    Although in theory Lovato’s model appears to be constructed on biological principles, the body-body model cannot be readily falsified using the available methods of modern science. New methods will need to be developed by those interested in pursuing her otherwise phenomenal scientific paradigm, so that those of us who like to watch will feel confident enough to seek out new ways of rejecting, falsifying, and denigrating the human body.
    — Karl Popper

    Demi Lovato is so hot right now.
    — Mugatu

    The mind can never leave the body, and to suggest it should is naive. For to think does not always mean simply to judge [or not to feel]; it is to leave one’s own sphere, to think of another, to empathize, to place oneself where one’s body is not, to become the other’s body, to feel their pleasure and respond to their pulses, to climax with and for them. Without the mind, the body can think only of itself and its own pleasure, there can be no synchronicity or search for the other’s erogenous pathways. What one does not feel oneself, one must think. It is the mind which introduces congruence and regulates pulses. Were the body allowed to run its course, there would be only insanity on one side and a frightened pious virgin on the other.
    — Alain de Botton, On Love

    But what if truth were a woman? What then?
    — Friedrich Nietzsche

    If the wheel had not creaked, it would have been marvelous.
    — Kafka, in The Penal Colony

  3. 181 Medically Inappropriate Participles


    September 23, 2015 by Dr. Geyser

    Inappropriate contact between doctors and patients, past present or future, presented in participle form. Twerking Manhandling Throttling Tongue-punching Fingering Eye contact …
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