Tag Archives: Medical school

  1. On naming your future doctor

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    January 19, 2016 by Dr. Geyser

    Greetings! from Dr. Frank Geyser, advanced subspecialist in interdisciplinarian studies, with a license. This post contains a list of suggested names for expecting parents who wish to get a head start on the medical admissions process for their child. It is never too early to start planning your life around medical school – just ask any medical student! The increasingly competitive nature of American medicine means that successful admission to medical school is dependent on good planning. Many many medical students come from medical families, where one or both parents, as well as most siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, have received advanced professional training at a certified U.S. allopathic undergraduate medical institution. Yet few parents realize that there are alternative methods for getting their children into medical school.

    The purpose of this post is to provide parents who expect their children to attend medical school with a means of obtaining their dreams without sacrificing that all-too-important lifestyle that medical students base their career decisions upon. Everyone knows that doctors have awesome names: Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Dr. So-and-so, Dr. Geyser. By focusing on the name of their future doctor, parents can increase the chance that their child gets into medical school substantially (results may vary). If you know your child is going to medical school anyway, why not start the planning process for them? And why not start RIGHT NOW, while they are still in the womb?

    “Obviously, we know what we are talking about” – that is what a good name communicates to the patient. Every time the patient says the name of their doctor, our perceived level of competence increases.
    Some names for your future doctor

    Dr. Gunner, MS1
    Dr. Arnold, Sports medicine
    Dr. Doctor, MD, PhD
    Dr. Quitter, PhD, Biochemistry and Molecular Cell Biology
    Dr. Brain, Neurosurgeon
    Dr. Brian, Internist
    Dr. Lips, Ob/Gyn
    Dr. Vitals, EMed
    Dr. Jerry, Geriatric anesthesiologist (gasser)
    Dr. Geyser, Specialist
    Dr. Breecher, Ob/Gyn
    Dr. Richard Cox, Urologist
    Dr. Helpful, Undecided
    Dr. White, Dermatologist
    Dr. Black, Oncologist
    Dr. Grey, Radiologist
    Dr. Smile (pron. SMILE-EE), Future dentist
    Dr. Smart, Pathologist
    Dr. Kidd, Pediatrician
    Dr. Childs, Pediatrician
    Dr. Herp, Primary care
    Dr. Nous, Psychiatrist
    Dr. Moo Kao, Veterinarian
    Dr. Yao, Pain specialist
    Dr. Otto, ENT
    Dr. P., Urologist
    Dr. Ox, Pulmonologist
    Dr. Porter, Abdominal surgeon
    Dr. Kathy, Interventional cardiologist
    Dr. Cutty, General surgeon
    Dr. Stew Mackey, Gastric surgeon
    Dr. Alvira, Infectious disease specialist
    Dr. Pole, Urologist
    Dr. Pool, Hematology
    Dr. Piles, Gastroenterologist
    Dr. Popper, Psychiatrist
    Dr. Gene Siemens, Reproductive specialist
    Dr. Q. R. S., Cardiologist

    Have other ideas for good doctor names? Are they better than Doctor Geyser’s? Find out below in the Comments section. And have a nice day.

  2. Why men wear the pants

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    October 23, 2015 by Dr. Geyser

    Hike up your skirts ladies and gentlemen, and let Dr. Geyser demonstrate to the civilized world the barbarity of wearing pants! It is absolutely as dirty as it sounds. But don’t worry, Dr. Geyser promises to keep it in his pants (SFW) – for now, anyway!

  3. The patient wears no pants

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    October 16, 2015 by Dr. Geyser

    When it comes to the question of pants, only the medically educated thinker is truly prepared to provide an answer that incorporates the entire experience of the body. But most physicians are deficient in the abstract intellectual resources provided by instructors in the humanities, either due to a lack of time, or arrogance, or the influence of ‘biochemical determinism,’ the mask draped over the network of pharmaceutical power…

  4. 181 Medically Inappropriate Participles

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    September 23, 2015 by Dr. Geyser

    Inappropriate contact between doctors and patients, past present or future, presented in participle form. Twerking Manhandling Throttling Tongue-punching Fingering Eye contact …
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